I'm not a very religious person. I don't go to church. I'm not even sure if I believe in God.
My grandmother was recently diagnosed with dementia, which is the beginning stages of Alzheimers. It has progresed to the point where she doesn't recognize my mother, or any of her other children.
A few months ago, my uncle's wife died of a drug overdose. My uncle and his wife are both cocaine addicts, and he has been an addict for the majority of his life. Because of his problems, my grandmother always focused the majority of her attention on him.
Earlier this week, my uncle proceeded to loathe in his greif over the death of his wife, get extremely high on cocaine, and walk into interstate traffic in an attempt to kill himself. He is now in critical care in the hospital, and it is insure if he will pull through.
This makes me wonder about God's role in this situation, if (s)he has any.
I feel that maybe my grandmother's dementia has a deeper meaning. I know if she had any clue what was going on, it would absolutely tear her apart. I wonder if this is God's way of protecting her.
This, in a really warped way, gives me hope. I hope that if God is there for my grandmother, and is looking out for her and protecting her, maybe he is helping me. I hope that all the bad times are just leading to better times. To quote Marilyn Monroe, maybe "good things fall apart so better things can fall together." Maybe there is hope for me. I'm hoping that everything truely happens for a reason.
Weblog
Sunday, 05 April 2009
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Today.
Its been almost three years, and I finally told my mom about the rape.
I feel so much better.
Thursday, 05 March 2009
Friday, 27 February 2009
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Wasted.
I don't want to have to feel like shit anymore.
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
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Holla
I would just like to say. Fuck my life.
I'm tired of not feeling anything.
Tuesday, 03 February 2009
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Cunts
All I even gotta say is . Fuck bitches who run their mouths .
Its nobody's business why we didn't work out . I don't have to justify it or explain myself to anybody . So fuck all yall.
em_ily21
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- Name: Emily
- Birthday: 3/16/1990
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 12/1/2008
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About Me
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I'm Emily. I'm eighteen years old. I'm nothing special. I go to community college and still live at home. I've been through a lot and learn more about myself every day. My goal is to live my life with no regrets, and so far I think I'm doing pretty good. Get to know me.
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New phone :->
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I swear that you dont have to go, i thought we could wait for the fireworks
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What people do is their karma. How you react is yours.
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